Let's get intimate and talk about confidence. Not just body confidence, but over all confidence. Because it completes a look just as much as a pair of heels can, if not more. When I first heard the über amazing news about my chance to collaborate with Gooseberry intimates I did not hesitate. A french lingerie brand based in Bali? What's not to love! But soon after I said yes all the fear began to sink in, I'd be posting intimate photos to share with anonymous strangers. I couldn't get the voice out of my head telling me to be worried about what people will think and what they will say if I go through with the collab. I was about to cancel (with a heavy heart mind you, Gooseberry Intimates has some of the most breath taking lingerie I've ever ase) but then it hit me; Confidence is an important accessory every girl needs to have. What better way to celebrate confidence than through this collaboration especially because I, along with most other people my age, struggle with insecurity.
I spent most of my high school years worrying about what people think of me, and in most cases due to my outfit choices it wasn't very positive. The constant negativity got to me. I didn't know how to handle it, in my head the negativity was the consensus so I just started believing whatever was said. This caused me to do everything to fit in. I saw confidence as the ability to not stand out. This however was not the case and even worse my sense of style suffered severely. To fit in amongst my peers I began dressing in standard girl form.. you know the long wavy hair flowing around maximum cleavage produced by an obnoxiously short body con paired up with booties and a cardigan. This really appealed to the opposite sex and the next thing I knew I found confidence through dating. The fact that somebody could actually want me and be proud to call me their girlfriend was a major ego boost. If someone else could like me, I could definetly like myself. However boys too were a bust. Each time a relationship ended so did my confidence. I was frustrated, my own opinions felt mute because I held everyone else's at higher value, relationships didn't last because I cared more about what people said than how I felt and I wasn't even being myself. I hated it. Not only did I have a closet full of boring items but I also didn't feel good when I wore them. By the time I gave up on bodycons and boys I was seriously considering committing my self to sweats. Now only wearing sweat pants everywhere, I was about to become a hermit until I read something so simple it seemed utterly moronic.
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel." (- Steve Furtick)
I let the words sink in and the more I thought it over the more it made sense to me. The reason I let other people's negativity get to me was because I was reflecting it on my "behind-the-scenes", and the reason dating someone made me so confident was because that someone would show me my highlight reel over and over again. Over time as I started to focus on only the positive thoughts others had to share I began to realize that with or without a boy I still had the same highlight reel playing, if other people could see it why couldn't I? In order to force my self to believe in the positives I began doing the Lois Lowndes morning 'workout'; dancing like Mr.bean in front of your bedroom mirror in the nude. Of course still being in the beginning of my process to self love, and feeling utterly ashamed of my body, I refused to be nude (even on my own) and I chose to wear lingerie. After all it was nearly just as intimate. It was through this morning ritual that I began to wear lingerie as a pick-me-up for those insecure days. I can remember coming home my junior year crying from humiliation. I was sobbing in the car because of a clumsy moment I had had in the cafeteria involving me spilling curry on my floral dress. I didn't see how anyone could have missed it and I (in the dramatic teenage way) never wanted to return to school ever again. In doubt I stripped off my curry covered dress and slipped into a floral bra with lace detailing and matching bottoms. As I put on some old school Britney and began contorting my body in the weirdest of ways I gave my self the quickest confidence recovery I had ever had. Since then every time I feel insecure or nervous I make it a point to wear sexy lingerie underneath my clothes . The lingerie reminded me constantly that even when dancing like mr.bean I was still attractive and it felt good. How I felt on the inside and what was under my clothes definitely resonated to the outside, I lessened the value of people's opinion on me and I stopped dating boys to gain confidence boosts. Even now as I write this article I'm wearing a matching black lace set. Everyone has insecurities but everyone also has highlight reels, and I hope by sharing with you my struggle for confidence I have proved the existence of my behind-the-scenes. And as silly as it is lingerie may have just changed my life, I recently started seeing someone not because I needed an ego boost but actually because we have lot of things in common, my favorite of which is me. (just kidding, but it doesn't hurt ;) )
These days my confidence is my most treasured item that goes with everything I wear, and I want to thank Gooseberry Intimates for giving me this amazing secret weapon. Even if no one else ever sees me wearing them in the flesh, my confidence will shine through my outfit.
For more Gorgeous self confidence rising lingerie check out @ Gooseberryintimates.com
View the full story @ f-comme-f.blogspot.de
(THE INTIMATE ATTIRE)
(Donna Underwired Bra in Ivory - Gooseberry Intimates)
(Donna Shorties in Ivory - Gooseberry Intimates)
(Open Knit Cardigan - Brandy Melville)
(Oversized Knit - Gina Tricot)